The coffee in me won't let me stop... I've got a million different thoughts running in and out of my head...and its a million different thoughts about you....& geology.
It's very lesbian and actually very creepy, but it's because I care about you. Probably more than John or Milo...well like about equal, milo is a cat. I am just so relieved you didn't hate me. I thought you did. I was so worried. I've got to get this off my chest, because I seriously can't concentrate on my Physical Geology.
So let me say what I have to say- plain and simple, with no dressing.
I think the world of you. I've had some of my best times with you and some of my worst times with you (not that you caused my worst times, but the worst in my life has been shared with you) I can never lose you as a friend. EVER. No one has ever come close in comparison as someone I will value until the day I die. (I even underlined the important parts!)
If you get anything out of this message...is that I'm fucking crazy, but besides that..I don't really know. I guess I have to leave that up to you.
I guess the reason that I am spilling this all over the table is that I actually thought I had lost you. We hadn't talked in two months. It was a dry spell-I think the longest we have ever gone.
When you came to austin it was a little weird...my friends were awkward and we didn't get enough time in my new environment. I guess I felt that you thought I had changed...etc. but I haven't. I really haven't. Actually Caleb says, "Natalie, you haven't changed at all- if anything you are more relaxed." --which is a compliment in my book.
I am assuming this is what you thought, but you thought that you are wrong. I also realize you are very busy, as am I. I understand that. I hope we have one more summer like the old times. Being creepers & that other shit we do. (I know I'm so articulate..)
From Austin to New York City, even thought you are across the country, I know you will always be there for me...and I will always be there for you. PROMISE. I miss you and I truly love you as a friend and even as family. I mean I practically forced your family to love me.
I am going to randomly call your house one day...I mean I'll do it...don't dare me!
I just realized that my past like ten entries have all been about "life"
haha I throw this term around way too much.
Basically, next weekend should be good.
I am excited to see Travis Cornett. I miss this boy. Travis serves as my "boyfriend" substitute. I need him and I am glad he is there for me.
First period with Ince is always a trip. The bell is about to ring. She is on the phone, waving her hands around with this leopard coat on. Is it wrong that idolize her many ways. We've always had this love/hate relationship, but this last semester has been really good. time can do strange things to a person.
regionals is coming up and after state I am not sure if I can face some of these people I competed with. I just wish TFA could of turned out better. I prepared myself for the best and got the worst. It's funny how things turn out.
and I promised myself I would have fun, but i didnt. =(
its my fault, anyhow. I mean I wanst even harlingen, I could of gone to the beach, but I could only go in mornings. MY Grandma is really paranoid and thought I would die in some crazy car crash or get kidnapped or actually drink!?! WTF yeah, i love my grandma, but still it gets annoying when everytime I WANT TO GO OUT she makes up some lame senario of how I would die. ha-ha
caleb- you better come to vaughns class ready to discuss the affects of smoking in public, I just got some BADASS sources against banning smoking outdoors in public parks, etc. WEE!!
Also, I love media tech.
YAY! YAY! matt and me!
SO life is pretty good! and that is all that matters.
NYC is like tomorrow. haha like thursday....excited much...HELL YES!
okay, so this past weekend was so much fun. I am so glad syd, steph, and I got so close, it was prettty amazing. I also rekindled my love for kisha t. and of course kara and I were like attatched to the hip in the latter part of saturday.
travis and I are still going strong...umm well w/e that means.
I am so proud of caleb he did amazing.
it was fun catching up with anthony, alyssa, alex, and kyle.....I love them all!
well this update is pretty much me loving life right now and I know some of my past entries have been pretty 'emotional'.....on another note I got a car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
btw: com (children of men) is amazing. looove clive..i love em. oh and its not b/c cmac loves him...I kind of already has his baby. whooops.
Nattyrose77 (12:39:22 AM): alright, I havent been sleeping well, ince had me slaving away on getting everyone ready for stony point, then she surprises me about going, i have to stay up and right my ld cases, i am stressed about my report card coming in
Nattyrose77 (12:39:27 AM): not so well actually
Nattyrose77 (12:39:40 AM): i have no desire to hang out wtih people anymore, i just feel drained, but i cant sleep
yes, I am already double qualified. no, I am not doing good in school. yes, the month of november is going to be hectic. no, I am not ready for it.
I love this no/yes thing I have got going on. I need to quit being such a fucking drag...jesus! I swear, I should just get over myself. oh, and I have gone religious people. I am going to go to church twice this weekend! I am excited. Ince thinks I should go blonde, I look like a porn star. I told her I liked it and I did, but I have been looking like a tranny lately. -I am being serious. so I just want to move to nyc, run away from all my problems and just soak up life, but it isnt that easy. if life were that easy no one would complain-hence lj! complainers haven. I miss all my friends and can not wait to hang out with them! weee!
Junior year here I come! oh shit Ive already started- this pep talk came kind of late.
so sometimes I am confused with who I am. I HATE being a teenager.
does anyone wonder where they are going to end up in life? where am I going to be. will I make something of myself?
the reason why I ponder these questions is because my cat, milo, might be dying. I am so upset. he has a urinary infection and I dont know if the vetenarians will be able to cure him.
=(
if they dont fix him I will be crushed, I love him. alot
so everyone put little milo in your good thoughts and hopefully he will be okay.
now even though, i know its kind of dumb to talk about politics on lj, I am going to break the rules, because seriously this has been bothering me for a while.
my family and I were discussing the middle east crisis. So we were talking and my grandmother tells me, that the reason why they are fighting is because these several nations just hate the jews and would do anything to fight them. Okay, so this is what gets me...why is just the 'muslims' fault. Its not. I have been pondering this for a while, because why should we condemn them for something they believe in. The israeli's believe in their homeland, will fight til the end, and just whole heartily think their right. So why is it wrong if the militants, jihadists, and muslim civilians think the same way? whos to say which side is right and wrong. She continues to say under the islamic religion that they think murder under the name of god is right. Okay, well don't we as americans murder people in the name of what we think is right. Isnt it the same thing, but rather a country it is a whole group of people spread out in mutiple countires? If this doesnt make sense, I understand, but the basic point I am trying to make is: What makes other people's actions wrong?
Now this does not constitute stealing, cheating, etc. not the basic ten commandment type actions, but like what people belive in their heart is the right way. example: this middle east crisis. Shouldn't we examine how these people have lived, their culture, just the social implications!!! seriously the way people grow up their social surroundings should play a factor on what they think is right. Like take for instance a palestinian farmer, grew up on a farm, had a hard life, was told everyday that the reason why he starves is b/c the jews occupy their land, and just grows up to have all this hatred for the jewish state. Now tell me why he wouldnt support the militants who hate the jews so much...and why do we condemn him? this is something I rarely ever hear. I just wish people would communicate.
well I am sorry if this sounds like just a bunch of bullshit and doesnt make sense, but it has really been on my mind and I just need to put it down.
oh and what sparked this entry was julia brebner's concern for harold...I hope he's okay....
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